


When a God Finds a Girl

by fictive_frolic



Category: Avengers (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Drug Use, F/M, Fluff, Past Drug Addiction, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 13:24:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 22,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20892830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictive_frolic/pseuds/fictive_frolic
Summary: Another Thor fic I started on Tumblr. Enjoy!





	1. Chapter 1

The first time Thor sees you, he’s walking into a coffee shop with Bucky. They’ve just been running, and for a moment, the air rushes out of his lungs, and he can’t breathe. You’re wearing scrubs. You look exhausted. You look frazzled. You look like you might actually cry if anything goes wrong but the shy smile you give them as you squeeze out the door makes his heart stutter, and for the first time in his long life, he understands how bad it hurts to be shocked. He only snaps back to life when Bucky punches him on the arm, “Yo, thunder dork!” he says, “What do you want to drink?” Thor shakes his head and pulls himself together enough to order a frilly drink and sit at the table with Bucky. His mind wanders back to you a few times, and each time he’s more convinced he needs to know your name. 

He feels like a stalker going day after day to the same shop in hopes of seeing you, but every time he sees you, he can’t help but be glad. He learns your coffee orders by heart. He learns to read the stress of your day in how messy your hair is and how quiet your voice is. It causes him physical pain not to see you in the shop. He’s never seen you in anything but scrubs and no makeup, but he’s quite sure you’re beautiful.

It doesn’t take long for the team to figure out something is up. Their usually slothful god of Thunder is up with the Chickens and mooning about the tower. Bucky and Sam are the first ones to ask him. “So,” Sam says grinning, “Who have you got a crush on?” he asked, half expecting Thor to say, Bruce or Natasha. The god actually blushes making Bucky laugh, “So you DO like someone!” he said half cackling. Thor runs his fingers through his hair and grumbles something unintelligible, “I’m sorry, who?” Sam asks, grinning and winking at Steve as he walked into the commons for a coffee.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” he said, trying not to look at them. Sam and Steve Exchange a look, “Wait, hold up, “ Sam said, “Dr. Y/N Y/L/N?” Thor looked up, “Yes, I have heard that title used towards her before.” Sam and Steve both snort, “Well, thunder dork, your life just got a lot easier.” Thor rolled his eyes, “How is that then?” Steve grinned, “We know her. Sam knows her pretty well.” There’s a flash of something Thor can’t decipher in Sam’s eyes, and he smiles a little, “I knew her older brother better but… yeah. I know her. pretty well.” Thor perks up, “Excellent!” he says, “You can introduce me.” Sam bites his lip for a second but nods, “Next time I see her, I’ll ask her to come out with us.” Thor starts to protest that you should be called now. This instant. But Sam shakes his head, “Y/N runs night shift in a level 4 psychiatric facility 3 nights a week and the other 3 days she works she bounces between a children’s program, the VA, and a counseling clinic. If you saw her getting coffee this morning, she was probably just trying to make it home and be awake enough to walk her dog. If she’s not working, she’s sleeping. She’s a busy woman.” Thor relents but still asks Sam every day if he’s spoken with you. 

The day Thor finally gets told you’re coming out with them, the god literally cannot stop smiling. He’s like a puppy bouncing around the tower, irritating Sam and Bucky, and even the ever-patient Steve to death. Sam and Steve head off to the Bar before Thor to scope the place out and give you a familiar set of faces before they spring their Asgardian on you. “Sam, do you really think this is a good idea?” Steve asks as they order drinks. “No,” Sam answers, “But, Y/N is a big girl. She can handle herself. Aside from that, I don’t think Thor would hurt her, and he’s a literal god… Her brother couldn’t be too mad at me for that.” Steve snorted, watching you walk in. Your jeans are low cut, clinging to your hips and ass, your shirt is a crop top with the words “Thanks I hate it” written on it. You have combat boots on and flannel to ward off the slight chill. Your hair is down, and you have makeup on.

Sam waves you over, pulling you into a one-armed hug, “Hey gorgeous,” he says, kissing the top of your head. “Hey, doll,” Steve laughed pulling you into his own hug and handing you a shot of tequila that you take without flinching, making Sam raise an eyebrow, “Rough week, baby girl?” he asks half teasing half concerned. You nod and groan, “I have 4 bosses, and all of them are fucking stupid.” Steve snorts, “No, some of them are fucking their secretaries.” You gasp in mock horror, “Oh god! Steve said a cuss. Quick someone makes sure society hasn’t collapsed.” Bucky walks in with Thor just in time to see you laughing with Steve and Sam. It’s casual, the way you’re touching Steve’s arm for a moment as you tell a story about something that happened on your last night rounds. Thor halts, frozen in the doorway and Bucky whistles softly, “Damn,” he says admiring, “That is a snack of a woman.” Thor makes a confused sound and Bucky explains, “An attractive looking woman.” Thor nods, “She is at least a three-course meal, friend. Not merely a snack.”

Bucky is still snickering as they reach the table. The men all greet each other and Steve pulls out a chair for you as Sam introduces you to Bucky and Thor. Your smile is open as you offer them a hand to shake. Bucky shakes it but Thor takes it and kisses the back of it making you color slightly. “Pleased to meet you both.” You say smiling. Thor is about to reply when your phone rings. You smile apologetically and pick it up, “Hello? Dr. Y/l/n speaking,” you pause listening, “No. No, absolutely not that is unacceptable. Fuck you, no.” Sam snorts and Thor shushes him. “No that is my client. Do NOT take him off that medication. I don’t care what Chodra says… Well she can get all the way off my dick then. Leave him on the meds and I’ll see him on Monday.” You hang up the phone and groan, “Duty calls, gentlemen.” You say excusing yourself. “It coulda been fun if my boss wasn’t going to call me every 4 minutes..”


	2. Chapter 2

Thor watches you go, trying not to sulk. You were lovely and clearly intelligent, and… uninterested in him it seemed. A literal god walking on Midgard did not often struggle to find a willing partner to share his bed. You had scarcely had time to talk to him before needing to rush off. 

Bucky hands him a sympathy drink, and Steve sighs, “That is the girl, right?” he asked. Thor nodded, “She was especially beautiful today.” Sam smirks, “Got damn me,” he said stretching, “Y/N is gorgeous. She was a cute kid and grew up to be a smoking hot woman.” Thor cocked his head in askance, and Sam laughed, “Don’t worry, my appreciation for her physical attributes is purely academic. I knew her when she was just 8 years old. If I tried to make a move, I’d never been able to unsee skinned knees and tye-dye t-shirts.” Bucky snorted, “Started from the bottom now we’re here.” he sang softly. Steve laughed and patted Thor on the back, “At least now you can talk to her in the coffee shop instead of just stalking her from afar.”

Thor nodded and sighed, “How did you come to know her so well?” he asked Sam. Sam toyed with his drink for a moment, deciding how to answer. “Her brother was in my unit in Afghanistan… We got to be pretty good friends. When there was a leave opportunity, I didn’t have much family to go back to so I went with him. It was Just Clay, Y/N, and their mom but they all just sort of adopted me. When Y/N was 12 or so, their mom died suddenly. A car crash. So Clay did some kinda shady shit to keep her out of foster care. Married some random girl to get out of the barracks and then brought her to live with them.” Sam paused and sipped his beer, “I stayed coming home with him, but every tour, less and less of Clay came back.” He sighed, “He finally took a plush job doing computer shit to satisfy the wife and actually be around for Y/N but eventually he just… Well, he lost it.“

Sam took a deep breath to steady himself, “He shot himself in the head, and Y/N found his body.” Steve and Bucky winced in sympathy and Thor closed his eyes against the pain he felt for you. “What happened, then?” Thor asked. Sam sighed, “Y/N just sorta dropped off the face of the earth. Clay’s wife took their two kids and threw her out on the street on her 18th Birthday, so she just took herself off to the first big town where someone said “hello” to her and went to school.” Steve smiled a little, “Of course she did.” Sam snorted, “I kept my distance, at least as much as I could do while keeping an eye on her for Clay and when her last relationship just sort of went to hell and her ex threw her out, I coaxed her into coming to New York and here she is.” 

Thor sipped his drink thinking and Sam gave him a warning look, “Not many people outside of this table actually know the story I just told you,” he said, “Let her keep her dignity and keep it that way.” Thor nodded, “Thank you for that… That answers many of my questions about her.” Bucky looked at Thor, “Like what?” Thor smiled a little, “Why one person who is obviously so kind and intelligent is so alone. Why a Lady who is so sad would possibly spend so much time doing for others.” The other men were quiet, and Sam nodded in tacit approval. After that, the evening was still subdued, but Sam gave Thor a few helpful hints that might help him successfully get you to stop and just let someone care about you. You deserved that, even if you went weeks avoiding Sam because of the pain it made you remember. Bucky and Steve also added their two cents and Thor soon found himself surrounded by Avengers offering helpful and not so helpful (In Tony’s case) advice. 

Thor waits in the coffee shop, his hands trembling slightly. You’d not been in for what felt like a month, and he was starting to give up hope. He wanted to see you. He wanted to know you were safe. Sam had shown him pictures of you from your Social Media and a few not to personal images from when you were small in a burst of Older Brother pride. The god was thankful to Sam for caring for you like he did, it was good to know that even without your beloved Older brother, you didn’t walk entirely alone. You looked a lot like your brother. Same hair, same eyes, same big smile. He is thinking about a picture Sam showed him in the kitchen, one of your graduations. Sam had an arm around your shoulder and was kissing the side of your head. You were smiling, but tears were just on the verge of falling. Sam had told him you did cry later in the bar while Sam plied you with alcohol to try and numb the pain of having reached a dream and doing it without Clay or your mom. Thor could see the bittersweetness of that moment for Sam. He was so proud, but You weren’t the only one who missed Clay dearly. 

When you do walk into the shop, you’re pale and look exhausted. Thor walks over to you and extends his hand, “Lady, Y/N?” he said trying not to feel his heart thud against his ribs, you turn and smile, taking his hand. “Thor,” you say trying not to look like you want to fall through the floor, “How are you?” you ask. 

Thor takes your coffee and gently threads your arm through his, “I am well thank you, though I do not know many on Midgard, and I admit I am a trifle lonely.” He pulls out a chair for you and smiles, “I would be grateful for your company a while.” You bite your lip. You’re tired and heartsore after a long week. You just wanted to get a coffee and crawl home but… A literal God just pulled out your chair. You sink into the chair, 20 hours on the move winning out and the god beams at you, going to order his own coffee. You sip your drink, taking a moment to admire him from a safe distance. You could see why people gushed about him. He was kind, and his formality was a nice change from dick pics and “Ay Mami!” You saw Thor retrieve his drink and you divert your attention to your phone, so he wouldn’t know you’d been checking him out. 

Thor watches you scroll for a second and sat down at the table with you, “So, Lady Y/N,” he boomed, “What have you been doing?” You put your phone away when he sits down and stretch before you answer him, “Working,” you reply, smiling, “I’m coming off my 20-hour shift.” Thor raised an eyebrow, “20 hours?” he stuttered, “Gods, you must be exhausted.” You smile crookedly and sigh, “I’ll be fine. It was just a long day.” Thor wants to kiss you and feel the softness of your lips on his. Something in your tone makes him feel like he needs to protect you, but he’s not sure what from. He watches the tremble in your hands and the exhaustion pressing down on you, and he decides you probably need saving from yourself. Your coffee does little to quell the need to drop into your bed and sleep. Thor gently takes your empty cup and offers you his arm, “I would like to escort you home, Lady Y/N.” he said, “I am uncomfortable with you making your way home alone in your current state.” You blush softly and take the arm he offers shyly, “I’m fine,” you protest, “But I appreciate your concern. I don’t live far from here.” Thor nodded, “Please?” he asks softly. “You look like you might collapse.” 

You look up at the god, something in his tone tugging at your heart. He just wanted so badly to help someone… You could feel that pain. You knew what it was like to want to protect someone and to fail to do it. You nod mutely and let the God lead you out of the shop. You lead the way just barely awake and to distracted by the feel of the muscled arm under your hand and the calloused hand that kept your hand tucked into the crook of his arm. When you stop in front of your building, Thor sighs. It had been a pleasant walk even if you were hardly conscious. It comforted him somewhat that he’d seen you home safe. When you stand on tiptoe and smudge a tired kiss against his jaw in thanks, he’s too stunned to do anything more than watch you go.


	3. Chapter 3

Thor is still grinning when he strolls into the tower. He’s pretty sure that kiss was meant for his cheek, but some small part of him wants to believe you were too tired and missed his lips. The god feels like he’s floating. Even exhausted, you were beautiful, and he can still feel the press on your lips on his jawline.

Thor sat alone, eating a sandwich and drinking a beer, still over the moon when Sam strolled in, texting. He glanced up and saw Thor gazing dreamily into the middle distance and snorted, “Hey, Thunder Dork, got your wedding all planned yet?” he teased. Thor felt his cheeks color slightly, “No, not yet… I don’t know what her favorite color is.” Sam laughed, “You did see Y/N, though?” There was a hint of concern in his voice that made Thor take notice, “Yes, I escorted her home not 2 hours ago.” Same gave him a look, and Thor continued quickly, “She looked exhausted, and I feared for her safety walking home alone after working so long.” Sam relaxed and sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, “As long as she’s safe.” he said nodding. 

Sam took a seat opposite Thor with his own beer and sighed. “Y/N is so much like Clay that sometimes I just want to shake her until her teeth rattle,” he said, pain in his voice. “She just hurls herself headlong into things, and when it all falls apart, she just keeps working like if she works hard enough. If she Saves enough people. Everything will mean something.” Thor nodded thoughtfully, “She told me she just did a 20-hour shift, she looked like she was probably going to fall asleep on her feet.” Sam chuckled bitterly, “That’s Clay all over,” he said, “I can guarantee you she worked a full day before she did that shift too.” Sam missed you. He missed who he thought you would grow up to be before your life fell apart. He hated that you were so much like Clay. That you wanted so badly to change the world you were working yourself to death.

Thor watched the other man and shook his head, “Perhaps you should speak with her?” he offered. Sam sighed, “She won’t see me right now,” he said, “I know she won’t. Clay… Well. He’s been gone 7 years tomorrow. I know what she’s doing. She’s going to work until it’s over. Until she can lose track of how many days it’s been again.” Sam swallowed hard, one of his biggest fears was getting the call that you were dead. You were his last link to Clay and to the moments in his life when he felt the most complete. Sam doesn’t speak for a long time, and Thor lets him have quiet. Sometimes words are unnecessary. And Thor is having thoughts of his own. He keeps seeing the tremble in your hands and your tired smile. You looked like you needed a good meal and a long sleep and Thor wonders what you like to eat, half making plans to tempt you out to get dinner with him. Sam finishes his beer and stands slowly. Thor looks up at him, “Alright?” he asks. Sam nods, “It’s not really like I can stop her from doing it,” he sighs. “Maybe you’d have better luck getting her to slow down.”

The Asgardian can only shrug, “Perhaps,” he said, “Lady Y/N did kiss me on the jaw today… I am not sure if she was trying to get my cheek or my lips, but it was nice all the same.” Sam smiled a little, “Yeah, she’s just that way. Lots of casual affection.” He remembered the way you’d lean on his shoulder when you were tired and having you on one side sound asleep and drooling on him and Clay on the other snoring with a pang. “It just means you’re comfortable to her,” he said, “It might not mean that she has feelings that way.” Thor laughed, “She was so tired when she did it that I do not even think she realized what she did.” Sam smiled a little. Thor continued, “I did not take it as a sign that she felt I was a suitable romantic partner.” Sam drifted out of the kitchen to see if Steve or Bucky wanted to train. He desperately needed to just move. Thor finished his sandwich and looked out the window, thinking of you. The strength you must have to be so relentless even when your heart was grieving. The optimism you still had to have to hurl yourself into such thankless work day after day. It made him both happy and sad. Delighted to know that you saw a way forward so clearly and sorry that you felt you only had meaning through the work you could do. 

Steve and Bucky go with Sam to the Cemetary to visit with Clay. Neither of them knew Clay, but they knew Sam and the pain of that loss well. When they arrive, you’ve already been. There are sunflowers laid of his headstone. Sam lays his own sunflowers down and says nothing. All he manages to say is, “I’m trying.” before he can’t trust his voice to say more. Steve and Bucky are silently supportive, letting Sam have the time he needs.

It isn’t until Thor meets Sam for a run in front of the Hospital where your office is that Thor realizes just how dangerous your job can actually be. He watches You talking to Sam while another Woman, taller than you and more athletically built stands nearby. There’s a flurry of movement, and the sound of a train as you and the other woman take off running, full tilt towards a man who is running to try and reach the train tracks. You tackle him to the ground after you sweep his feet out from under him and Cover his head with your hand to keep gravel out of his eyes as the train roars past. Orderlies and nurses rush up after the train is gone and escort the man who’s now calling you a whore, a cunt, and any other name he can think of back inside. You walk back to where Sam and now Thor is standing, dirt covers one side of your body from laying in the gravel and your hands, knees, and one elbow is bleeding. Blood is also running from your nose, and one eye is already bruised. “Nice work, Hana,” you say to the woman, wiping the blood away from your nose with your shirt. “Thanks, Doc.,” she said, limping up the steps to go back to work. Sam hands you a handkerchief and shakes his head, “I didn’t even see it happening,” he said. You shrug, “Just another day in paradise, I guess.” 

Thor has to shove his hands in his pockets to keep from reaching for you. You’re clearly shaken and upset. Overtired and spread too thin. He doesn’t even know you well, and he can see you starting to fray. “I’ll see you, gentlemen, later,” you say with a trembling smile, “I need to go get cleaned up and get back to work.” You excuse yourself without a backward glance, and Sam lets out the breath he was holding, glancing at Thor. “Boy, pick your jaw up off the floor,” he says, punching his arm. Thor snaps his jaw up and his cheeks color, “She didn’t even flinch.” Sam smiled a little, “Yeah. She’s like that.”

That night Thor finds out that you really did mean you’d see them later when you walk into the bar. Your white dress is cotton, thin for the weather but the red cardigan that just matches the shade of your lips looks warm. Sensible flats cover your feet, and your hair is in soft curls. Thor has never seen you look so feminine and he can’t help but Agree with Bucky’s quiet wolf whistle. The god would love to see that dress on his bedroom floor. Sam sees you before Thor can stand and marches you over to meet people. Rhodes is the closest and Thor would give anything to know what was being said that made you laugh. Rhodes was a polite, professional, and diplomatic. Thor hoped it wasn’t a line. He didn’t think he could watch you flirt with someone else. 

Tony caught sight of Thor mooning and grinned as he swaggered over, “What’s up, Pointbreak?” he asked, “Thunder Mojo not working today?” Bucky snorted, “Thor has a crush on Sam’s old Army buddy’s little sister.” he said, jerking his head to where Rhodey was buying you a round. Tony turned and looked, eyes widening slightly. He caught Rhodey’s eye and raised his eyebrow. The other man nodded, face tight when he looked at Tony but relaxed into a natural smile when he looked at you. “Goddamnit,” Tony muttered, “God damn it all.” The Billionaire took his drink and downed it before taking a deep breath and walking over to you, smiling. Thor can sense something in the energy in the room and Follows Tony, trying to act casual. 

Falcon puts an arm around you, giving Tony a warning look. Tony ignores him and takes your hand, shaking it warmly. “I’m so glad to finally meet you, Dr. Y/L/N.” You put on your best professional smile, clearly on your guard. “Mr. Stark, I wasn’t aware that you’re familiar with my work.” Tony laughs, “I’m not. But I was familiar with your Brother’s work. Clay was a good man.” Your smile falters and Tony sobers, “I was sorry to hear he’d left us. He really was an amazing engineer,” he sips his drink and Thor can see you look away trying to rally. Falcon kisses the side of your head gently and Tony continues, “You should know, for what it’s worth, I never had a sibling but if I did, I’d want them to talk about me the way Clay always talked about you. You could do no wrong in his eyes and meeting you, I understand why. You do amazing work.” Tony held out a business card, “You ever need anything, give me a call. Well… that number goes to Pepper but… Just tell her who you are, whatever it is, I’ll take care of it.” You take the card and nod mutely. Your fingers feel numb and you feel like you can’t breathe. Tony claps Rhodes on the Shoulder and leaves the bar, Rhodey following him. Both of them feel guilty. Seeing you, seeing how much you look like Clay has them both twisted into knots. 

Sam pulls you into a hug and catches Thor’s eye, “I think this calls for tequila.” he said making you laugh even as you wipe tears away. The shots are ordered and Sam, Steve, Bucky, Thor, and even eventually Natasha are all sitting at the bar with you casually roasting each other. Thor sits next to you While Steve and Sam are relaying stories of some impressive things they’ve seen you do, trying to hype you up to Thor. You blush and murmur something about it being nothing and Sam laughs. “Y/N, you literally would have let that patient throw you in front of the train today if you hadn’t managed to get him down on the ground.” You shrug, fiddling with your necklace nervously. Thor looks at your hand, noticing it for the first time, “Lady Y/N,” he asked, “What is on that chain?” You smile a little and look down at it, “A piece of meteorite.” you say looking at it. You know what the god is going to ask before he even opens his mouth, “When I was 10 or so, I was afraid to jump off the rocks into the water when we were swimming. Clay looked at me and said, “You’re a ghost in a meat suit made of star stuff. Go fuck ‘em up” and threw me into the water.” You laugh quietly, “So, on my 11th birthday, he sent me this. I guess to remind me I don’t have anything to be afraid of.” Thor chuckled and took your hand to kiss it, the barest brush of his lips over your knuckles, “I think that your brother was lucky, to have a sister who loves him so much.” Your cheeks color and Thor releases your hand gently. Thor is drunk very drunk but you are not. You drink slowly, participating but still keeping yourself apart, still guarded. 

When you go to use the restroom Natasha follows you. You give her a shy smile as you wash your hands and she leans against the wall trying not to look threatening, “Sam’s told me about your work,” she said smiling a little, “I just wanted to say that I think it’s admirable.” You blush, “I’m just filling a need.” Natasha’s mouth quirks again, “Well, yeah. That’s all any of us do.” You laugh and the spy takes her opportunity, “Look, I know he’s kind of a lunkhead but… Thor has a crush on you. He’s a great guy. Funny. Just… if he actually makes a move take him up on it.” She smiles as you stand there blushing and stammering, “Seriously.” she assures you before slipping out. You take a deep breath and sigh. “You can do this, Y/N” you say to yourself before walking out to rejoin the others.


	4. Chapter 4

When you rejoin the others, Thor is bolder, pulling you into a familiar side hug the way Sam often did, “Y/N!” he exclaimed, “I thought you left!” You blush, and Natasha snorts, “I literally told you she didn’t.” The Asgardian boomed a laugh, and you wince when his shoulder brushes the sore side of your face. The Asgardian stopped, gently cradling your face to inspect the bruises. He touches his thumb over your cheekbone gently, and the warmth makes you close your eyes, “I’m sorry, My Lady,” he murmured, “In my inebriated state I forgot your injuries this morning.” You blush and resist the urge to kiss the hand cradling your face. It had been a long time since anyone had touched you while looking at you with that kind of heat, but you weren’t drunk enough to forget yourself.

You pull away slowly, “It’s okay, Thor,” you say, “I forgot about it too until just a second ago.” You desperately want him to keep touching you, but you can literally feel the stares of everyone else boring into your skin. You feel too exposed, and you’re thankful that Thor’s large frame hides most of you. “I- I should be going anyway, “ you say. “Bontraeger is probably going to be irritated at me if I don’t take him out soon. He’s already going to be mad that we’re leaving for camping early tomorrow.” Sam gasps, “Aww, I miss Traeger! Chaotic good boy,” You laugh, “Well I mean it’s just going to be Traeger and me out at the Cabin if anyone else wants to come. We have room.” You adjust your cardigan nervously, and Thor laughs, “Yes! Camping. Excellent! I would enjoy that.” You smile at him a little and miss the look that passes between Sam, Steve, and Bucky. “I’m down,” Nat says stretching, and the Other three soldiers sigh, “Us too,” Sam says. He can tell without seeing your face. “We’ll bring the food since we’re staying at the Cabin,” Sam said, “Or at least We’ll pitch in and buy food from the Store.” You nod, “Well, Traeger is waiting. I better be off,” you hug Sam goodbye and give the others a shy wave as you leave, trying not to look too flirty when you catch Thor’s eye on your way out the door. 

You can’t help but remember the feel of his warm, calloused hand on your face. You wouldn’t think his hands would be able to that gentle, but Jesus, his hands were tender. Treager took his potty break with you, unhappy at your distraction. The German Shepherd liked to act like the world revolved around him, and you smiled at him, “Don’t worry, sweet boy,” you hear yourself say, “You’re still my best guy.” You check your bags and make sure everything is set for you to spend the week out of the City, thankful that Clay had made the decision to keep the Lakehouse all those years ago, deciding that the Lakehouse was more your childhood home than the house in the suburbs. You try to keep your mind off of Thor, not sure how you feel about him but… you’ve decided that for now you’ll try and keep a distance but. Sam’s friends are your friends. Even when it hurts you to be near him. He knew Clay. He knew your mom. The two of you for better or worse had a shared past and a shared pain. You go to bed and fall into a fitful sleep, still feeling the way Thor seemed to see you. Really recognize you as he looked into your face. Bontreager lays his head on your back and tried to offer you comfort.

In the morning, things look brighter. The thought of a road trip, the cabin, and just being at rest for a while make you feel warm all over. When The Avengers who are accompanying you roll up on the curb and honk for you to come down, you just let Treager go, letting him run to Sam for his pets, knowing that he’ll go straight there. “Traeger!” he shouted, kneeling to accept kisses and headbutts, “How are you, buddy? Ready for a road trip?” You smile, as you throw your bags into the back of your Jeep, “Hey all,” you say waving slightly, “I got the room with me if you need to redistribute people or bags.” Nat smiles and gives you a hello hug, “Thanks for letting us tag along.” You smile, “The more, the merrier. It’s what Clay kept the Lakehouse for.” Thor was shy that morning, a little embarrassed about the night before. Steve nudged Natasha and mischief sparkled in his eyes, “Hey, Thor. Why don’t you ride with Y/N?” he suggested, “You’ll have more leg room.” 

Thor smiled, he couldn’t help it. Time with you. Alone. Time to get to know you. It made him happy. You nod, “Traeger doesn’t have to ride shotgun. He can drool down the side of the car, no matter what window he gets.” Thor laughs, “Well, that’s settled then, I will ride with Lady Y/N.” Thors things are transferred to your jeep and as you pull onto the road, a small convoy following you, you pull down your sunglasses and roll down the back windows for Traeger. It’s a relatively easy drive, and Thor is a good co-pilot. He switches songs for you, he hands you snacks. He doesn’t even mind Traeger sticking his head up front and drooling down his shoulder. Thor watches you often as you sing along to the music you play and make kissy faces at your dog. He’s never seen you so awake and relaxed. It makes him happy. He wants to hold your hand. He wants to ask you questions about your life. But he doesn’t do either of those things. He lets you be. Just Be. In this moment. And he admires you falling more and more in love with every song you sing and every smile his direction. When Traeger lays his head on your shoulder, and you kiss his nose, Thor swears he has never in his life wanted to be a dog as much as he wanted to at that moment. 

When you pull up at the cabin, you pause at the top of the drive. The sun is high, and the sun is shining on the water. Trees lined the Drive, and a tire swing hung out front. It was a beautiful cabin, wood, and stone; unassuming on the outside but beautiful in its own way. You smile to yourself. You can almost see Clay on the tire swing and your mom calling you in off the water for lunch. Thor watches the mix of emotions on your face, and he does take your hand then, kissing it softly, “I’ve not seen a more beautiful place in all of Midgard.” You smile at him, warmth and a quiet pride glowing in your eyes, “Thank you,” you say, staring down the drive. Traeger, the furry missile was out the window and running towards the lake before you could even park the car. You laugh at Thor’s noise of alarm, and Your laugh makes him laugh, a hearty belly laugh that makes your heart stutter. The god is beautiful when he smiles, and you almost forget to keep your feelings hidden as you move to kiss the hand still holding yours, but the Sound of car doors and appreciative gasps remind you to pull away.

You get out of the car and Traeger made a beeline for you, shaking water all over you. “Goddamnit Bontraeger,” You say throwing your hands up but giggling. “I think the dog has the right idea,” Sam said punching Bucky on the arm and stripping off his shoes and his shirt to swing off the rope into the lake, Steve and Bucky the following suit all of them laughing and yelling as they hit the water. Thor stays near you. The water looks inviting but so does the curve of your lips and the swish of your hips as you walk. He decides to help you and Nat unload and get everything situated in the house, figuring out who’s going to sleep where. You get it all arranged efficiently, used to situating a houseful of Clay’s army buddies. “Nat and I will room together, and you boys can each take a room or a couch,” you say finally. The spy had been watching you like she might want to be friends and sleepovers were a universal way to do that. Nat smiled, “Thank god. I really don’t want to listen to all of them, snore.” You laugh, and Thor bites his lip. Part of him wants to joke about rooming with you but seeing how comfortable you are in this place makes him hesitate. He doesn’t want to mar this place for you. So he wanders into the kitchen, starting to put food away. 

When he turns to look back at you, he notices marks on the door frame… A growth chart. One for you and one for Clay. He runs his fingers over the scores and smiles tenderly. He could almost see little you running through the house, wet from the lake skin warmed from the sun. Happy. No cares. And he realizes what this place is to you. It’s safety. A solid foundation to grow from. He can hear you and Natasha talking, and he half listens. It’s small talk. Noting too important. Until the Spy catches his eye and looks towards the door, telling him to go, a hint of a smile on her lips. Thor sips out and Joins the other men at the lake, “How was the trip?” Bucky asked, laughing. Thor mock staggered against a tree, hand over his heart, “I have never been as jealous of a dog as I was when I saw the way she lavished attention on him.” he said, fondly patting the wet dog as he trotted past. “Y/N is a lady of exquisite loveliness, indomitable spirit, and incredible generosity,” Thor said seriously. “If I didn’t have feelings for her before I would now.” Bucky and Steve both made a noise suggestive of gagging, teasing him. Sam smiled a little, taking a stance, arms folded across his chest. “You’re going to pursue her then?” he asked. Thore took in his attitude and tried to keep his own relaxed. “At her pace,” Thor said nodding, “The moment she tells me she’s disinterested or wants no more from me, I’ll stop.” Sam nodded, “If you hurt her, I’ll break you.” the soldier said levelly. Thor only nodded, smiling, “If I hurt her, I would let you.”

Natasha helps you finish putting things away and you both head out to the porch with a beer, slouched comfortably in the wooden chairs. “This is a beautiful house,” Natasha said, sipping her drink, “Thank you for letting us all invade it.” You smile, “Friends of Sam’s are friends of mine,” you say modestly, “That’s what the lakehouse has always been for.” Natasha smiled but said nothing, her estimation of you going up a few points. Traeger plods up the steps for pets, and you rub his ears, “Silly boy, nice swim? Hm?” he licks your nose and nudges your bottle with a whine. You laugh and pour a little into his waiting doggy dish, and he laps it up happily. “Lush,” you admonish him without any real heat. “Why, Bontraeger?” Natasha asked. You laugh, “My ex was super into motorcycles and said it was the coolest name for a dog.” You take a drink and relax back in your chair, “We just got the thing, and I came home from the last day of my postdoc and all my stuff, and the dog was outside, and the locks were changed.” Nat winced, and you shrug. “So I freaked out and called Sam because I didn’t really have anyone else to call. Sam was like, “Well, I go a couch.” so I loaded up my shit in the car and drove from Seattle to New York.” 

The two of you were quiet after that, listening to the boys play in the water. “I should start dinner. Get the fire going so we can roast some hotdogs and such.” You stand and set about getting things around for dinner and Nat laughs, “Oh no. We have four strapping men down at the lake. They can start a fire.” She hands you another beer, “You’re supplying a house and making sure we’re all comfortable. You don’t need to cook too.” She walks down the hill to the lake and stops, hand on her hip, “Boys if you wanna eat tonight, you better get cracking on getting a fire started.” Thor snapped to and was getting up and out of the water in moments, Sam, Steve, and Bucky all mock groaned as they trudged up the hill to get to work. The boys put things together in short order and you give Natasha a grateful smile. You’re sore after yesterday and trudging around with coolers would not be helpful. The second day sore is always the worst sore and when your knee buckles, pitching you forward you brace to hit the ground. At least until strong arms lock around you and hold you steady, “Are you alright, my lady?” You swallow hard, “Yeah, Thanks, Thor. It’s just that second day sore from yesterday.” Thor tries not to enjoy holding you too much but you smell like sandalwood and sage and your skin is warm from the sun. He wants to let you go. He wants to give you distance and be patient. But his need to hold you wins out and he swings you up off your feet, “You should have that leg propped up,” he said sternly, preening internally at your soft gasp when he scooped you up. 

He settles you into your chair and moves a small cooler to be under your ankle before handing you your drink. “Thank you,” you say a little breathlessly, thankful that it was dark enough to hide your blush. “At your service, my lady,” he said bowing and kissing your hand. Thor feels his own cheeks heat. He wants so badly to call you “love” and put you on his lap to hold you. You nestled into his arms so softly, your breath against his neck and your hand on his shoulder. You were a cuddler, he understood. You needed tenderness to balance out the sharp edges of your day today. Thor nodded to himself and filed that away for later.


	5. Chapter 5

Thor dotes on you, making a fuss over you and staying close to you. Traeger accepts his interference but only just. He won’t allow Thor to touch you and will actively knock his hand away from you, putting himself between you and the god. Natasha catches your eye and you give her a look, silently pleading for some backup. You aren’t used to this much attention and it feels awkward. Natasha gives you a small nod, “YN,” she asked, “Is that guitar inside yours?” 

You smile, nodding. “Yeah, my brother taught me to play when we were kids.” Sam stands, “I’ll go get it,” he said, “You can play us something. It’s been too long since I heard you play. Or sing for that matter.” Sam heads to the house and you swallow the rest of your beer feeling decidedly not drunk enough to do this. In the firelight, Thor watches your face and feels a pang. He’s heard you sing. Just being silly in your car but still. Your voice is lovely. “Traeger, grab me another beer, buddy,” you say to the dog. The dog trots to the cooler and pulls out the beer, trotting over to you, tail wagging. “Good boy,” you say scrunching his ears and kissing his nose before taking the drink and opening it. “That’s impressive,” Steve said laughing as you tipped a little beer into Traeger’s waiting dog dish. You smile, “Thanks. I taught him some service dog commands. The only problem is sometimes he just does them whenever he wants.” Bucky has a look of realization, “Oh. That’s why he’s a chaotic good boy.” Before you can answer, Sam hands you your guitar. It’s old, scratched and well loved. It’s your first guitar in fact. Like so many sentimental things, you keep it here because you know it’s safest here. 

As you take the guitar from Sam and tune it, the chatter from the others fades away. There is nothing but you and the instrument in your lap. You don’t even know what you are playing as you start. It’s just a warm-up while you wait for a direction to go. Sam leans against a tree, starting to roast a Marshmallow and half shouts, “Free Bird!” You don’t look up from the guitar but you do answer him, “Get Fucked, Sam.” Bucky snorts and Steve laughs, “Someone certainly needs to or the combined sexual frustration in that tower is going to kill us all.” The spy pouts prettily and winks at you, “Speak for yourselves boys.” You stay quiet. You’ve not had sex in so long you aren’t really sure you would know how. You remember what Natasha said about Thor having a crush on you and you’re suddenly thankful your hair is covering your face as it flames red. 

As it has so often before, Hallelujah comes to your mind and you start playing the opening chords.

You heard there was a Secret Chord that David played and it pleased the lord/  
But you don’t really care for music do you?/ It goes like this/ The 4th/ The 5th/ The minor fall the major lift/ The baffled King composing Hallelujah/

You were so engrossed in the music that you didn’t notice that every bit of banter, every movement around the fire had stopped. Except for Traeger who was unimpressed and gnawing on a bone. The words soared from you, raw and searing. Thor sat motionless, his mouth going dry. This. This was your heart. This was pain and joy and fear and longing all surging forward as if you had cut open a vein and in front of them. As you sang the last notes the silence was deafening and you looked around self-conscious, “Sorry,” you murmur, starting to set the guitar down, “I must be out of practice.” You can feel tears welling up and you blink them away. Sam stills your hands and tilts your chin up gently, “Damn, Baby girl. Mama Cheri would be so proud of you right now. She always knew you had a gift and look at you… You made that one Cry.” He jerks his head towards Bucky who was hastily wiping away tears. “Play some more, baby girl. Please,” he said. A look passed between you, both of you remembering other nights like this. Long ago. Nights so long ago you almost only remember them the way you a do a dream. Hazy and slow; misted at the edges. But your mom and Clay are gone and Sam is here. Sam is pleading his own heart just as broken as yours and you nod, picking the guitar back up.

“Any requests?” you ask shyly and Natasha’s hand shoots up. “Oh Oh Oh! Do Journey. Do don’t stop believing please?” she asks, hands clasped. “Oh lord,” Sam sighs, “We’re about to get white girl turnt in this bitch.” You laugh and start playing, “Sing along if you know the words… No one needs to listen to me all night by myself.” you say. That song is you and Natasha duet. that ends in both of you giggling so hard you almost can’t finish it. A few songs later you take a break for a beer and Thor watches you. He could see you reeling back in all the emotions that you felt, carefully hiding behind a joke and a big smile. You were so afraid of being vulnerable. You can feel Thor’s eyes burning into you and you can’t help but feel he’s found you wanting that he’s disappointed in you. The thought stings and you try not to consider why. Bucky watches you as you make a s’more for yourself, “Okay, so how?” he asks. You look up confused and he smiles, “How did you learn to play and fucking sing like that?” You blush modestly, “My mom was really passionate about music. She went to Julliard once upon a time but then she had to drop out because of Clay, I guess… It never stopped being a passion. She made sure we could both play and read music and I took voice lessons for a while. Until she died anyway.”

“Mama Cheri was a boss on a stage. Any stage.” Sam said smiling at the memory, “Even if it was just in the kitchen. You, Clay, and Mama Cheri rocked it the fuck out.” You smile at Sam and shake your head, “I was mostly too young to have any real hand it that.” Sam knows better than to press. It had been a long time since you thought of yourself as a performer but, he remembers it. Very clearly. Your small voice like a sparrow against two powerful hawks. Pure, sweet. Adding innocence and clarity. “So if your mom never finished at Julliard, what did she do?” Steve asked, curious. You smile, “She went back to school and got her nursing degree eventually but to make ends meet in the meantime she taught piano.” Sam smirked, “And instead of doing that to make money in college you were a Dominatrix.” he teased. Thor and Steve both choke on the drink they’d been about to take and you blush a little but shrug, “The money was right, and I was good at head games.” Natasha high fives you, laughing, “Yes, girl. Get it.” You laugh lightly feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable. Luckily it’s late. You stretch and sigh, “I think it’s past my bedtime.” you say, “Traeger doesn’t have a snooze button and he likes his walks early.” The others move to start packing up and you hold up a hand, “No, no it’s fine. Enjoy. You don’t have to come in on my account.”

You walk towards the house and Traeger follows you, tail swishing. Thor watches after you, desperate to follow. To tuck you into bed and hold you. Once you’re out of earshot Natasha looks at Sam and glares, “What. The. Fuck. Sam?” she asked, “Why would you just say that?” Sam winced, “I got used to teasing her about it in private.” Steve blinked, “Sam this isn’t private. She doesn’t know us that way.” Thor slips away to follow you to the house, leaving the others behind to their bickering. You lean on the sink, head down, feet apart, and he just watches you for a second. You radiate all your feelings, everything you try so hard to hide. The god coughs and shuffles his feet and after a moment, when you’ve pulled yourself together you turn, smiling politely at him, “Thor, can I help you with anything?” you ask. Thor keeps his heart skip a beat. Even your social smile is heart stuttering. “I-I I thought I might help you, my lady.” He smiles at you and starts to cross the floor to you but when you drop your eyes and pull into yourself he stops. “Lady Y/N,” he says softly, “Please don’t hide from me. I-I- I mean you no harm. I just, ever since the first moment I saw you I can’t breathe when I think about the way you smiled at me.” He sits down, careful to stay relaxed. Careful not to push. The ball is in your court now and all he can do is wait. You still can’t look at him. You can’t. You just can’t. 

Thor wants to plead. He wants to put you on the counter and kiss you until you can’t think straight. He wants to tickle your sides until your breathless and helpless with laughter naked on his bed and then learn every inch of you until he knows the curves of your body better than he knows the back of his hand. As you brush past him, bare feet padding past him he’s too stunned to catch your wrist and stop you. Traeger on your heels, he hears the first quiet sob before the door closes and his heart shatters. All the raw feelings and emotions he’d tried so hard to soothe away burst forth and Thor just wants to kick himself in the head. The god walks out of the house with a bottle of whiskey as a cover but it’s no good. The others read his striking out in his face and no one tries to take the bottle. Thor stares at the sky until long after the others have drifted to bed, praying to Valhalla for guidance. Praying that somewhere your mother and brother aren’t too angry with him for making you cry in this place. 

When Natasha slips into the room quietly and sprawls out on her side of the bed, she doesn’t say anything. The silent tremors of emotion are palpable. She takes your hand gently and squeezes, offering what little support she could. And that’s how you finally fall asleep Traeger asleep behind your knees and Natasha’s fingers laced through yours.

In the morning you wake up first and start the coffee before taking Traeger on his run. Thor is asleep in the yard, half-finished bottle of whiskey in his hand. You wince but head down the drive, keeping Traeger on a good pace. Thor hears the happy yips and the sound of feet on gravel and it stirs him slowly. He watches you disappear down the drive, half admiring the swell of your ass and the thickness of your thighs as you jog away. He hauls himself up from the chair, stretching and groaning as he headed up the steps. “How are you doing, big guy?” Natasha asked, looking up from her phone and handing him coffee. “I feel like an ass,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. Natasha made a sympathetic noise, “I’d imagine she’s not feeling much better,” she said. Thor sighs, “She’s just so beautiful,” he said. He took his coffee and walked around the living room, studying pictures on the walls and seeing you grow up through them. Natasha settles on the sofa, watching him but saying nothing. The others drift out for Coffee and breakfast slowly, sleepy-eyed and hung over. When you come inside, sweaty and panting Thor stops, his heart racing. Gods, he thought, shoving his desires for you down. He knew he could seduce you and draw you in with his powers alone but he wanted you to come to him on your own.

“I think I need a swim after that,” you say, smiling as if you didn’t feel like falling through the floor. You go to change into a swimsuit and Natasha follows, “That’s a great plan. I can’t remember the last time I swam just for fun.” Soon you both come out in your suits, cute bikinis and Thor chokes on his coffee, coughing and fumbling to keep his grip on the cup and turn so you can’t see the sudden rise in his sweats. He drops the mug he’s holding and it shatters. Bucky and Sam both laugh and you blush, slipping out the door quickly. No one had ever had a reaction to you like that. It made you feel like you may as well be naked. On the porch, Natasha grabs your hand and the two of you, hands clasped, run laughing into the water, jumping off the dock with shrieks and giggles at the cold water.


	6. Chapter 6

Back in Stark tower, Pepper finds Tony already awake and staring into a glass of Scotch like it might hold the answers to all his problems. “Tony, what are you doing?” Pepper groaned, “This is the second morning in a row you’ve been trying to kill brain cells before 10am.” Tony looked at Pepper over his shades. He’d kept a lot of secrets from Pepper over the years, but for once he was glad he hadn’t kept this one. “I saw Y/N a couple nights ago,” he said, “God she looks so much like Clay.” He ignored Pepper’s soft gasp, staring intently at the drink in his glass. Pepper crossed the floor and brushed the hair out of Tony’s eyes, “Did you tell her?” she asked. Tony shook his head, “I promised Cheri I wouldn’t,” he said softly. Pepper said nothing but took the glass from Tony’s hand.

The boys nurse hangovers on the porch while you and Natasha lounge in the sun on the dock. The spy, for her crisp exterior, had a wicked sense of humor and a loving personality. You were thankful Sam introduced you. As you lay laughing in the sun, the raw feelings of last night seemed less visceral and less critical. The boys sipped coffee and tried to remember how to be alive, enjoying the view on the dock. It was more an academic appreciation for beautiful women being beautiful women than lustful staring. Except for the way Thor was pointedly trying not to stare at you. He hadn’t planned on seeing that much of your body this morning. You were healthy with a feminine softness that he would happily spend hours lavishing attention on. He adored women. Soft curves and velvet skin under his hands were just the things to temper his harsher instincts, and he was desperate to show you how it felt to be worshiped like you deserve. Sam appreciated that Thor was trying not to openly drool over you. He knew the guy was really, really interested, but at least he wasn’t making you uncomfortable. Sam supposed he was courting you the way he would a Lady on Asgard. Steve stretched, “I think I’m going to Join the ladies,” he said lazily; “The water looks nice, and I really want to know what they’re gossiping about.” He loped into the house to put on his swim trunks, and Bucky rolled his eyes, “Thor,” he snorted, “Just go hang out with them.” Bucky had been watching the god through hooded eyes, quietly judging him.

Thor blushed and hastily looked away from where he’d been watching you dangle a foot in the water and trying to to think about playing in the water with you and how that could lead to other things. Steve loped down the steps a towel over his shoulder, whistling. You and Natasha both splash him and it ends in Steve hurling you into the water making Natasha shove him in and then jumping in herself. Thor couldn’t help the twinge of jealousy he felt at how easy it was for Steve to just be around you. Bucky sighs and shrugs, “He always was good with the ladies. It might be that he just isn’t interested in them.” Bucky stretched, watching Steve. It didn’t matter how long it had been, the man was still beautiful when he smiled and he was currently beaming from ear to ear. “Suit yourself,” he said, going to join the goings on on the water. Thor watched, quietly. Leaning on a post and sipping coffee and thinking. How was it so easy for you to be vulnerable and care for your clients but so hard for you to entertain the notion that he might care for you?

You climbed out of the water and sat on the dock, basking in the sun, water shimmering on your skin. Sam wandered down the steps, “C’ mon man,” he said, “Water’s warm and the girls are hot.” He walked towards the water, “Y/n, you still got 4 wheelers in the shed?” he yelled. “Yeah,” you call back; “They probably need gas and a jump though.” Thor reluctantly follows him. He feels wrong-footed with you, embarrassed. He wants to apologize but can’t seem to get you alone to do so privately. The others wander over to inspect the ATV situation. Thor sat on the dock next to you, watching the sun on your skin. “Lady Y/N,” he said softly, clasping his hands in his lap to keep from putting your small foot in his lap. He really wanted to caress your ankle. He didn’t even know why he just wanted to touch you. “Thor,” you say smiling a little. “I want to apologize for last night,” you say quietly. “You weren’t… I was in the wrong. I shouldn’t have run away from you. You were trying to help.” Thor looked at you, your stillness. The expression in your eyes is unreadable. Your tone was so genuine he felt his heartbreak for you but your face. You kept whatever you felt to yourself. Waiting to be rejected. Thor does touch you then, skimming his fingers over your ankle lightly, “I should be apologizing to you,” he said and watched the flicker of surprise in your eyes. “In my haste to offer you assistance, I put you in a position you found uncomfortable. I thrust my feelings on to you when you were vulnerable.” Thor wanted to kiss you, there was a softness in your face. He looked down at the delicate ankle he was touching and tried to breathe. 

When you draw your leg back out of his hand Thor looks at you, surprised when you lean closer to him. You’re so close he could kiss you. It’s not until you press your lips against his, the barest whisper of a kiss. The god froze, you tasted like sun and salt. He closed his eyes and when you pressed into him for more he tangled a hand in your hair. Thor reflected quietly that if the Gods were to decide he should die now, he could die happy. When you pull away, he lets you go and kisses your nose. You look shy but the stars that sparkle in your eyes make his heart feel like he could burst. He’s about to tell you he loves you again when you shove him off the dock, laughing at his surprised yelp.


	7. Chapter 7

Natasha heard Thor yelp and a splash and looked up to see you giggling on the dock, “Did Y/N just kiss him and then throw him in the water?” she asked snorting, “I like her.” Steve grinned, “He’s into it too,” he said. Sam grunted, he really did not want to think about any goings-on between you and Thor but listening to the splashing, and the laughing made it hard. He really did still see you like an 8-year-old girl with skinned knees and messy hair, and dirt under your nails. He saw it so clearly his heart ached sometimes. Right now he was just trying to avoid listening to the others speculate on how long it would take until Thor had you naked. “Okay, enough!” Sam finally said, setting down a wrench. “Look, I know you guys think this is all really cute, but I super don’t want to think about that girl. Out there. The one I’ve known since she was a kid with a popsicle on her shirt. The one I held at her brother’s funeral. That girl.” he said, pointing to you, “I really don’t want to think about her getting railed by the thunder dork out there. So either speculate or help me do this but not both.”

Contrite, the others turned to less interesting topics and helped Sam get the ATVs running again. Thor wanders the path from the lake, trying not to look too pleased with himself out of respect for Sam. “So what’s all this, then?” he asked, taking a drink of his beer. “ATV’s Thor… they’re for riding on,” Bucky said. “To what purpose? Are we not taking the cars home?” the god asked. Natasha laughed, “For fun, Thor. They go fast, and we can ride them over the field at the back of the house.” Thor nods amiably and sips his beer still not understanding but okay with it. “Our lovely hostess has decided to make us all dinner,” he said beaming, “She has asked if anyone has any food allergies so she can make sure she does not accidentally kill you.” When everyone answers that there are no allergies, Nat pats Thor on the arm as she squeezes past him, “I’ll go help in the kitchen. There’s too much testosterone out here for me.”

Natasha let herself into the kitchen where you were laying out ingredients and starting to assemble some bread dough. “So,” she said smirking, helping herself to a drink, “How does it feel to kiss a literal god.” You feel your cheeks heat and you let your hair fall forward to hide that you’re trying not to smile. Natasha only laughs but doesn’t press further. It’s clear that you’re not really one to kiss and tell; it’s your kitchen, so it’s your rules. “Y/N do you care if I play some music?” she asked gesturing towards the collection of CD’s and vinyl albums neatly organized on shelved along the walls near a bay window. 

“No, of course not. Help yourself, Natasha,” you say not looking up from your cutting board. The spy doesn’t need to be told twice, she wanders over, admiring the collection. There are scores and scores of different albums to choose from in their jewel cases. But she keeps being drawn to the black CD organizers on the bottom rows. She picks one at random and unzips it. Inside are painstakingly labeled home movies. Videos that your mom had recorded of you and Clay doing various kid things. The spy closes them quickly, feeling like she’s intruding on something private. Looking at family pictures you have on display is one thing, but she didn’t want you to think she was snooping.

Not at your house. Not after you’d been generous enough to extend a, no questions asked invitation. Natasha picked out an album or three and put them in the stereo before settling at the counter watching you work with interest. The way a person handled a knife could tell you a lot about them. You were efficient but uninspired with your handling. Nothing fancy but neatly executed. Your mind was several steps ahead of your hands, too busy thinking about the next steps to worry about this one. It made her smile a little. You were impulsive and kind and generous. The kind of friend every girl needed to have. Natasha decided you were her friend. Whatever your past or your secrets. She watched you work in silence, content to listen to you sing to yourself and sip her drink. She could already tell you appreciate silence. You appreciated not being pressured to know how to solve a problem or have a witty retort. 

In the barn, as Steve and Thor watched Sam and Bucky race across the yeard on 4 wheelers, Steve raised his beer in a mock toast, “So, how was the lake?” he snorted, “And how did that tiny dame manage to push you off the dock?” The Soldier watched Thor’s cheeks color and smirked, “I was distracted,” Thor said chuckling, “I was too busy thinking of ways to convince her to keep kissing me.” Steve laughed, “Some warrior you are. A Dame a quarter of your size got the drop on you.” Thor shrugged, a dopey grin spreading across his face, “If it meant she’d keep kissing me, she could shove me off the dock all day.” Steve whistled, “You got it bad, huh?” Thor only sipped his beer and chuckled. Just barely over the smell of gasoline and motor oil, he could smell food cooking. He could see you through the kitchen window cooking, singing to yourself. In his mind, Thor was already thinking of you. A life with you. Coming home to this or something like it. All he knew what that he felt more at home with you than he had ever known he could handle.

At dinner around the fire, boys worn out from their racing and drinking all day, it’s comfortably quiet, and everyone goes to bed with sunburns and full bellies. Except for Thor. He can’t sleep. He turns that kiss over in his mind again and again. He couldn’t manage to get you alone again to coax more out of you, and he also didn’t want to make Sam uncomfortable by being so open about how willing he was to accept any of your advances. Finally, he hauled himself out of bed, shirtless his flannel pants slung low on his hips and wandered out to the porch, hoping that some fresh air might help him sleep. He doesn’t expect to see you sitting on the dock, cross-legged with a red zip-up jacket on to ward off the chill. Thor frowns to himself and walks across the wet grass to the pier and pads slowly towards you. He can see you have a cup of tea in your hands, and tears are drying on your cheeks. You’ve evidently been sitting here a long time as the tea is no longer steaming. 

“Y/N?” he asks softly, crouching next to you, “Love, are you alright?” You start and turn to him as if waking from a dream and bite your lip. Tears threatening to start falling again but you blink them back and smile after a moment, “I’m fine.” you say, looking away quickly. “Please, sweetheart,” he pleaded softly, “unburden yourself. And if not that at least let me hold you. Don’t just shiver out here in the chill and suffer alone.” Thor sits on the dock against a post and opens his arms, inviting you to crawl into them. You hesitate for a moment, but when you do crawl forward, Thor does not wait, he wraps you up and holds you to him, kissing your hair and rocking you gently. He can feel you crying more than he can hear it, the warm tears on his chest and the tremors of sops shaking your body. He doesn’t try to hush you, he doesn’t try to halt anything, he just lets you be and lets you feel. You wipe your face clumsily on your sleeve, and Thor kisses your forehead, “Do you want to talk?” You shake your head, “This nightmare is why I used to do so many fucking drugs… I never had this dream when I was high.”

Thor made a soft noise of surprise and tightened his arms around you slightly closer. He wanted to press. He wanted to know, but he didn’t want to pry. “Sometimes I miss being fucked up all the time,” you admit softly, “It’s a lot easier to handle my life when I can’t feel anything.” Thor tilts your chin up, “For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re not high all the time. I get to know you. The real you. The god kisses you softly, and you smile a little. “If you don’t want to talk, it is alright. If you do want to talk, I’ll be right here.” You nod and lay your head back on his shoulder. Thor simply holds you, stroking your back. He’s not sure how long it takes but eventually, he hears your soft breathing deepen into sleep, and he smiles to himself, pleased that he could soothe you back to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Thor holds you and watches the sunrise and the mist on the water. The revelation that you’d spent a chunk of time doing a plethora of drugs had him shaken. He knew that you’d been broken. He knew your heart and soul had both been through a wringer, and now a lot of your actions made sense. When you did drink, it wasn’t much. When you worked, you worked with single-minded intensity. You went from drugs to caffeine as addictions, and the thought made him hug you tighter. He was so proud of you for changing your life and so worried that you might actually work yourself to death. He looked down at you asleep in his arms and smiled a little. His arm and one of his legs were numb, but he stayed still. You needed your rest, and he was thrilled to be holding you. When you did stir, looking up at him groggy and disoriented Thor kissed your forehead, “Good morning, my love,” he murmured, “How do you feel?” You stretch and groan, “Like an idiot, like I should be apologizing to you,” you say. Thor kissed your forehead again and frowned, “Why?” he asked. “I just… I know I’m probably not your idea of a long term relationship, and all my baggage just keeps getting dropped on you.” you sigh, “I’m sorry. I spent so long on drugs and just hooking up with people and then working and trying to ruin my life that I don’t really know how to flirt. Or do dates. Or actual relationships… My ex was more of a penance than a relationship.” Thor tilted your chin up and kissed you gently, “I’ve been alive a long time,” he said, “And No one I’ve ever met has made me feel the way you do.” He kissed you again, “I’ve kissed many people. And that kiss on the pier yesterday was my favorite first kiss. I’ve been waiting for it for so long that I almost resigned it to a permanent daydream.”

You blush, and Thor chuckles, brushing his thumb across your lips before kissing you again slowly. “Whatever your past, I love you,” he confessed, “I love you so much I’m not sure I’ve ever really loved anyone else.” you can feel tears welling up. You never expected to be the girl who got a big romantic speech. Thor can’t think of anything else, and so for a few more minutes there are no more words and his lips meet yours again. You can’t think straight, and you don’t want to, kissing Thor is better than being on ecstasy. You feel alive, and you’d happily fuck him right there on the wooden dock. It’s the best make out you’ve ever had. His rough hands turn velvety soft as he caresses your neck and back and when he tangles his hands in your hair, you moan against his lips, making his deep baritone chuckle vibrate his chest under your hands. When he pulls away, grinning at you and looking pleased with himself, you can’t smile back at him.

“My love,” he says, “As lovely as this is I think your other houseguests would not be pleased with me if I took you out here on the dock.” You giggle and bite a swollen kiss lip, “Let’s go get them up,” you say, “There’s a diner in town we can get breakfast.” Thor beamed and pulled you over his shoulder before standing up, carrying you giggling and protesting into the house. Thor couldn’t resist swatting your backside before setting you down, and Steve started choking on his coffee when Sam scowled. Thor coughs and places you, blushing and still giggling back on the ground gently. You meet Sam’s scowl, pressing your lips together to keep from breaking down in helpless laughter all over again, “I see you do that again,” Sam said, protective older brother mode all over his face, “And you’ll lose that hand.” You do laugh then, laughing so hard that you wind up sitting on the kitchen floor. Sam almost cracks a smile. Even he couldn’t be mad at something that made you that happy. Traeger barrels into you only making you laugh harder as he licks the tears of laughter off your face.

The others trickle out, and Thor helps you off the floor, pulling you in for a kiss as you give Sam the finger at his grumbling. When you pull away, smiling you look at the others, “Let’s go get breakfast, there’s a neat little diner in town.” The others go to get dressed, and Natasha drags you into your temporarily shared bedroom by the hand. She tears through the closet and lays out a cute sundress for both of you, tossing them on the bed. “Nat,” you say, “Those are neither on long enough to be decent on me.” Natasha laughs, “Come on. It’s summer. That’s the point,” she coaxed. “Aside from that, “ she said grinning, “Think of how fucking fun it would be to have Thor trying NOT to provoke Big Brother out there from beating him to death with Bucky’s arm.” You snort and pick up the sundress with cherries on it, “Zip me up?” you ask. “Atta girl,” Natasha said, “Let’s see if we can’t snap a few necks walking around today.”

When you both walk out of the bedroom made up and dolled up, the boys are all dumbstruck for a moment. Your sundresses are short, and your eyeliner is winged for the gods. Thor stares at you, your lips are the most inviting shade of red he’s ever seen, and he desperately wants to haul you back into that bedroom and shred that dress to pieces as he savages you. Sam glares at you and reaches over to push Thor’s jaw up with a snap. Steve twirls you around, and Bucky does the same for Natasha before they each take an and pile into your jeep, leaving Sam and Thor to ride together.

The ride to town is quiet in Sam’s truck. He’s just barely containing his irritation. Really, he can’t even be that mad about him just… He still wants stability for you. He wants you to make music and be happy. He wants you to not work yourself to death. He wants you to find a partner that can be there to support you. Thor is not that. Being a hero is not conducive to caring for a partner. “You do not find me worthy of Y/N, do you?” Thor asked, there was no anger just a statement of fact. “I made a promise,” Sam said, “I promised I’d protect her. I promised Clay before…” He stopped, gripping the wheel tighter. “Before Cheri died, Clay and I had a plan. We were going to be together. But the Cheri died, and that wasn’t an option. No court was going to give a teenage girl to two men to raise… So plans changed. They had to. The week before he blew his brains out, he made me swear that I’d protect her because he just couldn’t anymore.” Sam sighed, “I tried. I watched her try to die more times than I could count. Adderal, Cocaine, Ecstasy, Acid. Not eating for days. Not sleeping for a week. Dating men who just patently did not care enough about her to even make sure she drank water at some point. She’s been a dominatrix, an EMT, a bartender… Now she has three jobs because she’s afraid if she stops doing shit for a while and she works at a normal pace she won’t be able to take it, and she’ll end up like Clay.” He stops and looks at Thor, “It’s been my biggest fear the last few years that I’ll get the call that she finally flamed out because she just can’t take it all anymore. And you think you’re ready for that?”

Thor is quiet. Thinking. Thinking of you and the kisses that seared his lips. Thinking of you dead-eyed and tired in the coffee shop. Your sudden ferocity in the bar when you were fighting for someone who couldn’t fight for themselves. He considers all of that, your pain. Your need to tear yourself to pieces to try and change the world. And all he wants is to love you. All he wants is to know that he can be with you and be the one you run to. “Yes,” he said, eyes getting soft as he watched you laughing arm in arm with Natasha, “I’ve never wanted anything more.”


	9. Chapter 9

Inside the diner, the air is crisp. It’s comfortable, old fashioned booths and mismatched tables at chairs. It could be any small town diner in America. You wave at a waitress in a hello you give someone you’re only a little familiar with, and she smiles, “Take a seat anywhere hon, I’ll be around with water and Coffee in a minute.” You beam, “Thanks, Gracie.” You lead them to table big enough for everyone and don’t bother with a menu. You and Natasha compare notes on coffee creamers, and Bucky tries to distract Sam, Steve tries to explain to Thor why biscuits and Gravy is a menu item. 

It’s a beautiful morning sipping coffee and eating breakfast. At least until your phone rings. You look down at the screen and sigh, “What, Flenner?” you say just barely containing an eye roll. You listen intently and sigh, “No, I’m on Vacation until Monday.” The change in the voice on the phone is noticeable, and your face gets stormy, “You better change your tone, quickly,” you say calmly, “You got me 50 shades of fucked up if you think that it’s my job to come in and clean up YOUR mess.” The person on the phone is shouting. Actually shouting at you. “You can’t fire me if I quit, Consider this my notice.” The voice on the phone is suddenly contrite, “This is not a power play. This is my notice. I’ll be in on Monday to clean out my office. I won’t be your fall guy. Enjoy sitting on a Death Committee.” 

Natasha pats your arm, and you smile. It’s a smile that looks brittle. “Well,” you say to Sam, “I guess I only have 83 jobs now.” Sam frowns, “What happened, baby girl?” You shake your head, “Our interim Facility director managed to actually kill someone. They snowed him out so bad he just… never woke up. He was trying to say that it was my fault since it was MY caseload and I should have been at work to prevent it.” Thor lays an arm over your shoulders and kisses your head. You shrug, “I have 6 job offers right now. I’m not exactly hurting. And I won’t starve or anything. I don’t really have many expenses.” It’s evident that the circumstances of leaving this job are breaking your heart, but no one can be too upset at you having one less responsibility to do. You smile, you talk, but your heart just isn’t in it. Sam won’t let you pay for your meal, and when you pout, he kisses your cheek, “Consider it a reward for doing something for your mental health. That job was starting to treat you like an abusive relationship that you were staying in for the kids.” You give him a look, and he smiles, “It’s true, baby girl,” he said, “You were overworked, underpaid, and they acted like you were disposable… I’m sorry that the client is gone, but I’m not sorry that you left.” You sigh, and he pulls you into a hug, “I know,” he says hugging you tightly.

Thor can only watch, he’s thankful that Sam knows what to say. Because he does not. Natasha and Stever drag you off to go look at the storefronts. Or at least Natasha does, and Steve takes your arm on your other side happily along for the ride. You all ramble the main street, looking in shops for the heck of it and all you really want to do is go home and hide in the lake. Still, it’s nice just being around comfortable people. It reminds you of Clay bringing buddies to the lake. The same banter. The same casual disregard for feelings. The same kid gloves when it came to your feelings for fear that an older brother figure would pound them to dirt.

Returning to the Lakehouse is soothing. It helps. There are no demands on your time. Everything outside this property doesn’t matter. You toe off your sandals and untie the halter of your dress, letting the fabric pool around your feet and expose your swimsuit. There are whistles of approval from Bucky and a groan of irritation from Sam. You whistle to Traeger, and before any of them can follow suit, you and Traeger both hit the water with a splash. It isn’t long before they all follow suit. Thor discovers the unique joy of swinging off a rope into the water and in the sunset, fireflies starting to glow, you and Natasha are calling out scores as the boys try to outdo each other.

Around the fire, there is music and food and more beer. Everyone is slightly foxed. Everyone is sunburned slightly. Everything is right. That night, as everyone sleeps, you sit on the dock watching the stars. The quiet moments are the worst. When all you can do is think. That’s why you had never done pot or heroine. Or any other drug that slowed you down. Taking life at a sprint, moving from one thing to the next kept these moments away. You wanted to call someone. See if you could get a hold of anything, but you knew it would break Sam’s heart. 

You stare at the sky, trying to count the stars. It’s a useless task. A worthless endeavor. But maybe it’ll keep your mind occupied. Perhaps it’ll keep you from grabbing your Adderall out of it’s hiding place. The need to be stimulated, to do something. To feel like you’re flying is like a physical burn. You take a deep breath, and you’re about to go get your pills and just go alphabetize your kitchen when muscular legs appear at either side of yours, and then strong arms pull you against his chest as he drops a kiss on your neck. “Nightmares?” he asked softly. You sigh, “I haven’t even closed my eyes yet,” you say. Thor frowned and cuddled you softly. “What’s wrong, pet?” he asked, kissing your shoulder, “Sad about your client?” You sigh, “Yes, but I’m mostly just trying not to let the existential dread set in.” Thor frowns and chafes your chilly arms with his hands. He’s never had to think about his place in the world. Never had to wonder. Never had to worry about what his path would be. He knows your life will be short compared to his. He knows the need to prove yourself. But he can sense this isn’t that. This is a different need. Something so raw and all-consuming you don’t notice the chill.

It hits him finally when he sees the involuntary movements of your hands and turns your words over in his mind. You want drugs. You’d rather be high than feel all the emotions pressing on your chest. You were fine when it was bright, and there were people around you could look after but now, in this quiet. Everyone in the world asleep but you. There is no escape from the pain. There is no way to block it from your mind. Thor tightens his arms around you reflexively and looks up at the sky with you. He can’t stop the pain, and he can’t bring himself to use sex to distract you, no matter how much he wants you. So he holds you to him, silent and watchful, praying to the gods that it was enough. 

Neither of you sleeps. You because you cannot and Thor because you can’t. In the morning as you make coffee, Thor stays near you, hovering. You fix his cup and then fix yours, and the god pulls you into his lap. “Are you feeling better, love?” he asked softly, keeping his voice out of anyone else’s hearing. You nod mutely. You’re exhausted, but the need burnt it’s self out with the daybreak. Sam watches this with narrowed eyes. When you get up to make more coffee, he tilts your chin up to look into your face, and you rip your jaw out of his hand irritated as you slap it away. Hard. Sam watches as you whistle to Traeger and trot up the drive, working into a run, concern all over his face. Thor clears his throat, “So far as I know,” he said, “Nothing happened… I was with her on the dock. All night.” Sam nods, feeling like an ass. He’s seen you come down off lots of things. Mostly after being awake for days. After not eating. He should know better. He doesn’t mean to treat you like a child, but, in his heart, you are a child. You’re always and forever 8 years old.

When you come in from your run, sweating and panting to get water for the dog, Sam does what Sam always does when he’s hurt your feelings. He slips you a Cookies and Cream Hershey bar and walks away. It’s enough. A peace offering. If not an outright apology. You go to the shower, and Thor sits on the couch. The others are outside, lounging in the sun, enjoying the last full day at the lake house. You’re in the shower forever, and Thor gets bored, staring at photos and trying to stay awake. He noticed the CD cases and opens them. He’s overwhelmed when he sees the painstaking labeling. He’s heard stories, but he needs to know. He watches the first one he finds. It merely says “Birthday Message Afghanistan 2006″. He puts it in, and Clay is on the screen. He’s singing to you, a guitar in his lap,

…My wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to,  
Your dreams stay big, your worries Stay small  
That you never need to carry more than you can hold,  
And while you’re out there gettin’ where you’re getting to, I hope you know   
Somebody loves you and wants the same things too,  
Yeah, this is my wish…

It’s sung with so much love that Thor can feel tears sting the backs of his eyes. Clay wanted the world for you. He sacrificed his own happiness to give you the life he thought you needed. It was no wonder to the Asgardian why you cherished his memory and why his loss had affected you so profoundly. As the song ended, Clay beamed into the camera, “I love you, baby girl,” he said, “Happy Birthday! I’m sorry I’m not there, but I’ll be home soon. I hope this year if everything you want it to be.” He waves at you, and the video ends. Thor takes a deep breath, he feels like he’s intruding on something private. Some intimate part of your past that hardly anyone has seen before. He feels terrible, but he can’t stop watching the videos. He watches you sing with your mom, with Clay, with Sam. He watches you perform alone. It’s intoxicating, seeing the moments in your life where you were truly happy.

Before your foundations crumbled to ash. He’s so engrossed in a video of you accompanying your Mother as she sang that he doesn’t immediately notice that you’ve sat next to him. Not until you say, so softly, “Please. Turn it off,” you ask. Thor starts but complies. You aren’t crying or angry, you just look, tired. “I’m sorry,” he stammers, “I just, I didn’t know and then…” You hold up your hand to stop him, putting the case away. “Just… Can we take a nap?” you ask, “I’m so tired.” Thor nods, pulling you into his arms and onto his broad chest. You’re asleep so quickly he barely has time to get you settled. Thor smiled, holding you secure against him, one hand on your lower back and the other tangled in your long hair. It’s sweet, and you’re beautiful warm. It makes it so easy for him to drift off.


	10. Chapter 10

The others just let the two of you sleep, staying quiet inside and keeping the party outside by the lake. You both looked tired and not the “staying up all night fucking,” tired that would have made them feel more inclined to wake you up. Besides, It’s sweet. Thor has you pinned against him, your long damp hair wrapped around his fingers, holding your head to his heart. The way you’re tangled up is innocent and comfortable. Something they know you’ve been in desperate need of since yesterday morning. So they let it go. Even Sam can’t grumble too much, at least Thor doesn’t have a handful of your ass or something.

It’s afternoon and the two of you finally stir, you because Traeger pushes a cold wet nose into the exposed small of your back and Thor because Traeger is eye level with him panting. You stir making soft kitten-like sounds and Thor chuckles, patting the dog’s head, “Couldn’t let me keep her to myself, could you?” he rumbled fondly, kissing your head as you set up slowly, rubbing your eyes. Traeger ruffs softly and plonks his head in your lap and you scratch it absently while getting your bearings. Thor feels like he can’t breathe for a moment. You look enchanting. A goddess, a forest nymph, someone he couldn’t dream up if he tried. Your hair has dried into a fluffy, wild mass. Your lips and cheeks are rosy. And your sleepy eyes are making him think of what you’d look like, satiated and looking up at him for goodnight kisses after he’s loved you. And you don’t even know how much he wants you. Thor silently decides that he better step up his efforts. You don’t seem to know how precious you are and that’s a crime against the gods. “Thank you,” you say softly when you can string the words together. Thor hummed, “For what, pet?” he asked. “For letting me sleep on you.” Thor sat up and kissed your cheek, “I should be thanking you,” he murmured, “I got to sleep for hours holding you and feeling all your beautiful curves pressed against me.” 

Your cheeks color and Thor chuckles, kissing your cheek again. “It was truly the best nap I have ever had,” he insisted, “not that I wouldn’t love to do it again after some slightly… less chaste circumstances.” You look at him slowly. You knew Thor liked you but he’d never been so forward. You bite your lip and smile a little. Thor feels his own heart flutter but you’ve gotten off the couch before he can tease out the meaning of the look you just gave him. Thor follows you, still shirtless and sweats slung low on his hips. Natasha and Bucky are teasing you gently but no one is actually irritated. Sam actually looks a little relieved that you look better. Not 100% but better. You’re wearing a tank top and some short shorts. Things that aren’t really “decent” to wear in public but still cover most of your body compared to your bikini. Thor now that he’s awake appreciates the effect of the shorts, he could admire that view for hours but averts his eyes making a mental note to have you put them back on when you’re alone. He wraps his arms around you from behind, a small possessive gesture and kisses your head.

You lean back into him almost without thinking, it had been nice all the times he held you. This is no different. It just feels so warm and safe that you don’t even mind his light possessiveness. Without really trying he’s soothing places in your soul that you didn’t know needed to be soothed. You wonder what it would be like, calling him your own. If he’d really want you after he’d seen all the exciting ways you could try and lose your mind. 

_________

It’s the last night at the lake and everyone turns in early once the house is mostly tidied up and the fridges and cupboards are cleared. You and Nat giggle and gossip about the boys, falling asleep holding hands. In a way, you both decided you needed a friend and so you just adopted each other. The spy is thankful. Her world is awash with men and sometimes a little girl talk is good for the soul. Thor is up early. He makes you coffee and waits patiently for you to come out of your bedroom. Your bag is packed and on your shoulder to be put in the jeep. Thor kisses you good morning making you blush, and hands you your coffee, taking your bag to go put it in the car. “You’re not even dating her and she’s got you trained,” Bucky teased from the porch with his own mug. Thor grinned, “She’s hosted us in her home for 5 whole days,” he said, “the least I can do is carry her bag.” Bucky snorted, “You say that until you’re tied to her bed and calling her daddy.” Thor pauses, “Is that not supposed to do something for me?” he asked, “Y/N could do whatever she liked to me but I’m pretty sure her tastes are probably not as exotic.” Bucky laughed, “I hate trying to joke with you sometimes. None of the dirty jokes ever phase you.” Steve kisses his cheek, “1500-year-old demigod, Buck.” Steve reminded him, “He’s probably been around a few blocks. A few times.”

The boys quiet at the sound of your footsteps and you walk by them, cheeks burning, and studiously not looking at any of them. You’ve done your fair share of ho-ing around, especially when you were high all the time but hearing it talked about so casually was uncomfortable. Traeger is oblivious and pulls you ahead, eager to run, so you follow, leaving them all in the dust. “Well now I feel like a dick,” Bucky said. “You should,” Natasha said, smacking the back of his head. She trots after you, smacking Thor on the arm on the way, catching up to you easily. While the two of you are gone, Sam presses them into service to help him get the house cleaned and locked down properly. He knows that those idiots have just been offensive somehow but he assumes you can handle it. When you return, Everyone is waiting outside having one last beer, “It’s 10am Sam,” you say laughing. “Yeah, but we runnin’ on lake time still. It’s always beer thirty on lake time,” he answers. You roll your eyes and Bucky hands you a beer in silent apology. You take it and gently punch his flesh arm, “I could take you if I had to,” you warn playfully, making him laugh. “I don’t doubt it.” You all finish your drinks and throw the bottles in the recyclables bag with the other sundry cans and bottles and Everyone gets into their respective vehicle, Thor swings himself into your jeep and you put Traeger in the back seat. Once you roll down the driveway, the others follow. 

Thor kisses your hand and laces your fingers together as you put your shades on against the sun. A warmth settles in his chest and he decides to take a plunge, “Y/N?” he asks, “Would you mind if I stayed the night with you tonight?” You look at Thor and smirk, “Well, I guess I don’t exactly have to go to work tomorrow,” you say, “And my apartment will be a little lonely.” Thor grinned and settled back in his seat. He liked it when you flirted with him. He also liked the thought of you wrapped around him whispering his name like a prayer as he made you come apart. 

The others head back to the compound without even wondering where Thor was going. The God of Thunder clearly had more on his mind than unpacking his bags and getting settled in. Sam tried very hard not to think about it. It was clear Thor was going to pursue you now whether Sam liked it or not. He just hoped the God knew what he was doing. He really didn’t want to have to kill him when he broke your heart. 

Thor enjoys the ride back to the city. He listens to you sing, he even sings along if he knows the words. One of his massive hands rests on your thigh and the other is behind his head. He looks so lazy and content that your heart does little backflips every time you look at him. When you pull up in front of your building, Thor helps you with the bags so you can manage Traeger up the steps but, any pretense at being a gentleman stops the moment the door closes and the dog is off his leash. He pulls you against him and claims your lips in a hot hungry kiss that makes you moan softly. The god chuckles as your hands fumble for the hem of his shirt and he practically rips it in his haste to pull it off himself. He kisses you again and his hands find your ass to lift you up so he can set you on the nearest flat surface that happens to be your kitchen table. You wrap your legs around him and toy with the waistband of his jeans teasingly sneaking a hand down to caress his growing bulge. Thor groans and nips your throat, “So eager for me,” he teases, feathering ticklish kisses over your throat and collar bones before easily stripping you out of your tank top and bra to free your breasts. The sight of them bare makes him gasp softly. They’re more beautiful than he dreamed of and he wastes no time lavishing kisses and nibbles on them and singing their praises. Heat pools between your thighs as he takes his time exploring you. By the time he removes your shorts, he can hardly contain himself. He feels like an inexperienced youth again and his hands are trembling as he slides a finger into your wet folds, “Very eager for me,” he pants, touching you lightly. You’re beautifully responsive for him and he loves the way you sigh and shudder when he touches you so intimately. “Take me to bed?” you ask softly, “Please, Thor?” Thor closes his eyes. The way you say his name in the heat of your passion makes his knees quake. It’s like a jolt of lightning to his prick and he throbs for you. He has no choice but to comply, sweeping you into his arms and following your whispered instructions to your bed. 

Thor sets you gently on the bed and you waste no time in getting him out of his jeans as he toes off his sandals. When his dripping cock springs free at last he sighs in relief as the pressure from his jeans eases. You look up at him, heat in your eyes and slowly, teasingly lick up the underside of his thick shaft while gazing into his eyes. Thor groans half in agony half in bliss and silently begs for you to do that again, but you don’t. You lap at his cock head, little kittenish licks and grin at him when he makes a choking sound, “Let me ride you?” you ask, “If I don’t get you inside me soon it might kill me.” Thor laughs, a hearty belly laugh and traces your lip with his thumb, “I can’t have that,” he said, voice husky, “To let such a beauty go to waste is a crime against the gods.” He lays down on the bed with another groan and you straddle his hips, positioning yourself over him. Thor kneads your hips gently, helping you ease yourself on to him and you moan softly as you take all of him in. Thor is still, letting you adjust but he wants to rut into you so badly it hurts. “So tight for me,” he gasped. You grin at him, starting to move slowly, “You’re just huge.” He pinches your hip making you yelp and brings the other hand around to caress the little bundle of nerves he knows will make you come apart. You sigh, moving a little faster as you get used to the feel of him inside you. You ride him like your life depends on it, desperate to feel him come for you, desperate to come for him. It’s better than ecstasy. Just Thor’s gaze on you, growling about how pretty your tits look bouncing as you ride him. The sound of him growling like a beast as he drives you to orgasm on his prick, your slick juices all over his cock and his fingers. You’re burning so hot for him that you feel like you’re going to burst into flames. Thor does come with a howl and his grip on your hips is going to leave you sore but you don’t care. You ride him through his climax, milking him for every drop. And when he pulls you to his chest to hold you, you go, panting and sweating, trembling. 

Thor flips you underneath him like you weigh nothing and gently disengages from you, lavishing kisses on your belly and breasts as he parts your thighs again. The god of Thunder is not done making you come apart. He won’t be satisfied until you’re so sleepy and satiated that his kiss can’t stoke any more fire in you. You laugh softly, “Thor,” you start, but the laugh turns into a wanton moan as his tongue finds your clit. He can taste you and himself as he laps at you greedily. You’re overstimulated but god, god does it feel good. His clever tongue soothes the start of an ache where his cock was almost too much for you and you tumble into orgasm, again, and again, and then again, until you lose count. They come so quickly and the God offers you no quarter. He laps at you, hungry for you, as if he’d never tasted anything so sweet. When he finally does stop, you’re a limp, boneless, panting mess. When he pulls you into his arms, you go willingly. “Thor,” you whisper. And your lover only hushes you with a kiss, humming softly to lure you into rest, hoping to keep the quiet of the night ahead from making you feel like using.


	11. Chapter 11

Thor isn’t there for a few weeks. He’s called back to Asgard to see to his duties. His father is furious with him for being away so long. He does not accept Thor’s explanation that he’s found love or that he’s been protecting Midgard. 

Thor doesn’t want to leave you for so long. He wants to have you asleep in his arms naked and satiated. He wants to pick you up from work and take you to get food. He wants to bring you a coffee and a bagel to eat while you remember how to be human after a long night with him. Those thoughts lurk in the back of his mind constantly. He’s grumpy and goes to sleep every night irritated at the warriors three for sending women to his room when he has a woman. A woman who’s claimed a place as the queen of his heart. 

Frigga listens to her son as he talks about you. He doesn’t know how to explain your job to her except to tell her that you’re a healer of the mind. He tells her the only magic you possess is your voice. That you can talk anyone out of or into anything you want. He tells her you’ve used these powers to save lives. He tells her about your lake house. And your dog. He tells her about your broken heart that only kept going to make sure no one else would ever feel what you felt. He tells her that he loves you. She pats his hand and kisses his cheek. She tells him that if he loves you then she is pleased as long as his love is returned. Thor blushes when he thinks about the way you whisper his name like a prayer in the dark. The way you tell him you love him as the two of you lay tangled in the bedsheets sweating and out of breath. The way he feels like an inexperienced boy when you look at him smiling and stand on your toes to kiss him. Frigga only smiles and kisses his cheek. 

When Thor returns, he goes straight to your apartment. It’s empty and cold. There’s no Traeger to greet him and nothing has been touched in days. Thor feels the first beat of anxiety and goes to find Sam. If anyone knows where you’ve been, Sam knows. Natasha sees him when he walks into the tower and holds out her hands, “Thor,” she said quietly, “Thank god, we were afraid something had happened to you too.”

“What do you mean, me too?” he asked, trying to reign in his need to tear the city apart until he found you. “Thor there was an Accident,” she said, “Y/N was injured. Badly.” Thor swallows hard and stayed still waiting for Natasha to continue, “She was shot,” she said, “A patient walked into the free clinic where she was working and opened fire. She distracted him long enough to get her patients out but couldn’t talk herself out. He opened fire on her and the three other staff. The staff didn’t make it but he managed… Y/N… Y/N still might not.”

Tears start welling up in Natasha’s eyes. The spy liked you. You were honest. And sweet. You were a friend when you had no real reason to be. You just accepted her because Sam did, without question. “She’s upstairs,” Natasha said, “In medical. Sam is with her now. He’s not left her side in three days.” Thor turns toward medical at a run. Panic replaced with a sense of calm. You needed him to stay calm. You needed him to come care for you. He pauses at the window. You look so small and pale. Covered in bandages and you look wired for space. Traeger is at the end of your bed, watching you with worried eyes. He doesn’t understand why you won’t play and call him a good boy. He wants you to pat him so he settles with wedging his head under your hand. Sam sits in a chair looking wrecked. Exhausted and worried sick. He’s reading to you, the only thing he can do. Giving you a familiar voice in the dark. 

The only thing he doesn’t expect to see is Stark. The man is leaning against the wall, pretending to look through his phone. His face is ashen and he looks more unkempt than usual. He smells of alcohol and keeps glancing at you in the bed. He looks pained. He looks like he wants to pat your hand and adjust your blankets. Thor doesn’t stop to consider this. He walks into the room and walks to your bedside. Traeger wags his tail and Sam gives the god a tired smile, “Hey, man. Welcome to the party.” Thor strokes your hair and leans down to brush a kiss against your forehead, “How bad is it?” Sam sighs, “We’re on surgery number 4 now trying to repair all the damage. She was shot 10 times and the only reason she didn’t bleed out was that she cut out the middle man and called me as soon as the man walked into the building… Nat and I showed up just in time to watch her hit the floor.” He squeezed your hand, “The police to the guy into custody and we had he brought her instead of the hospital. We figured it was her best shot.”

Thor nodded and tugged Sam out of the chair gently, “Go get some sleep,” he said, “Some food. A shower. I’ll stay here and we’ll call you if anything happens.” Sam nodded, “The coma is medically induced to help her body heal. The doctors say that as long as nothing else goes wrong, we’re likely to get her back. She’ll probably have a limp. And she might struggle to have kids one day. And she might have some chronic pain. But she’ll be alive. Even if she can’t work like she used to.” Thor hugs him and gently shoves him towards the door, picking up the book to pick up where he left off.

The giant man struggles to get comfortable in the chair and reads. He just keeps reading. He doesn’t know what the fuck is going on. Something about wizards and a tournament and a bad guy with a name no one is supposed to say but everyone says anyway. Eventually, he falls asleep. Lulled by the quiet and your steady breathing. The dreamy, timeless state of the room. Natasha comes to take Traeger on a walk and Throws a blanket over him. “Stark,” she said softly, “Go talk to her.” She gives him a meaningful look. She had access to all of his files for months. She knows things even Pepper doesn’t know. Every skeleton. Tony shakes his head, looking towards you with pain on his face, “Even if I did, what would I say?” he snorted. “Hey so I know I was never around but I’m your dad and I really want you to come work for me where you won’t get shot again?” Natasha smiles a little, “I’ve heard worse.” Stark laughs bitterly, “Her mom didn’t want me around her kids. I told Clay before he died and he was so fucking angry…” Stark looked like he aged about 7 years as he sighed, “I don’t half wonder if I helped kill him. And I don’t think I could live with myself if I did the same thing to her.” Natasha patted his arm, “At least go check on her. It’s fucking creepy just standing here staring.”


	12. Chapter 12

Tony sat in the room across from Thor and looked down at you, “Stark,” Thor said setting the book aside, “If you’ve come to make innuendo…” Tony held up a hand, “No,” he said, “I just… Tell me what she’s like?”

Thor felt his brow furrow, “What she’s like?” Tony nodded, “Who is she when she isn’t working?” Thor looked down at you, your usually animated face so still and pale. He wanted you to open your eyes and smile at him. He wanted to hold you and feel your warm little body against his chest. He swallowed hard, looking for the words to describe you. Instead, he told Tony about how he met you. That day in the coffee shop when everything had been going wrong and you still smiled your thanks when he held a door. 

He told him about you tackling a patient to the ground and holding them until help arrived to keep them safe. He told him about your voice and the way you could hold an audience in the palm of your hand. Your laugh when Traeger had scared him jumping out the window. He told him what it felt like to love you and know that you were changing the world. Tony listened. He wanted to hug Thor. That was the most he’d ever gotten to know about his daughter. Clay wouldn’t tell him so much as he favorite color. He looked down at you in the hospital bed and said a silent prayer. He wanted you to get up. He wanted to tell you who he was. He wanted to fix what he could. And if he couldn’t fix it he’d stand there and let you hit him for a minute. Anything as long as you woke up. When Thor fell asleep, snoring in the chair, Tony took your hand. He didn’t know what to say. There weren’t words.

The last time he had seen you, you were barely a year old. Clay had been away at summer camp. You were just starting to be a handful, cheerful and chubby with a big smile and bigger eyes. He told Cheri you were beautiful and she told him to get the fuck out of her house. He’d promised her he’d marry her. But then… Vegas had happened. Drugs and liquor. Showgirls. It had been all over the tabloids. Cheri had trusted him with her heart. Twice. And he’d broken it.

Now she was dead and so was his son. He didn’t think he could take it if you didn’t open your eyes. Rhodey and Pepper were the only ones he had ever told. Pepper because she’d wanted to know why he was setting so much money aside for kids that weren’t his and Rhodey because once upon a time, he had introduced them. He squeezed your hand praying to a god he wasn’t even sure he believed in. Natasha and Pepper watched as he leaned over and kissed your forehead before practically running out of the room. He’d been hiding in his lab. Avoiding everyone. The women exchanged a look and sighed. Pepper followed Tony and Natasha let Traeger back into the room. The big dog had been matter of fact about his walk. He walked. He did his business. And then he half dragged her back inside. He didn’t want to be away from you. He reclaimed his spot on the edge of your bed. His head on your leg. He didn’t know what was wrong. He only knew you needed him.

Natasha smoothed your blankets and tucked a blanket over Thor carefully before tiptoeing out of the room to go and find Sam. When she did find him, he was halfway through a bottle of Vodka with Steve. She poured herself a shot and sat down with a sigh, “How’re you holding up Sam?” she asked. Sam took the shot and slammed the glass down on the table, “I should have answered the phone,” he said, “We could have been there. I should have been there.” Steve put a hand on his shoulder, “She’s going to be fine,” he said. “NO SHE ISN’T,” he shouted, “SHE’S NEVER GOING TO BE THE SAME. AND FOR WHAT? FOR FUCKING WHAT? THAT SON OF A BITCH SHOT HER BECAUSE SHE WOULDN’T GIVE HIM VALIUM AND HE’S GOING TO WALK. HE OPENED FIRE ON A CLINIC AND HE GETS A PASS BECAUSE HIS DAD KNOWS THE DA.” Steve just let him yell. He carried on, days of anxiety and fear boiling over into a vodka induced rage. When he was done and sobbing on his chair, Steve pulled him into a hug and just let him cry. Sometimes, that was all you could do.

Pepper found Tony in conversation with Bruce and stood there, arms folded. Bruce knew half the team was in a state over your injury but he didn’t know you. It wasn’t that he didn’t care, he just wasn’t invested. So Bruce had become Tony’s safe haven. A place to avoid the pain. “Bruce,” Pepper asked softly, “Can you give us a minute?” The man nodded and went to an office. Tony refused to look at Pepper, “Anthony Edward Stark,” Pepper said softly, “What are you going to do about all this?” Tony looked up at her, eyes over bright, “What if she doesn’t wake up? What if she spends her whole life thinking I never loved her?”

“Do you?” she asked gently, holding out her arms for him to walk into them.

Tony remembers the chubby, happy baby on Cheri’s hip. Slobbering and happily tugging on her hair and reaching for her glasses. He thinks of watching you and Clay grow up from a distance. Greedy for any newspaper mention or photo. He thinks of the pride he felt reading your first research article, a beautiful piece of work. “All her life,” he said softly, closing the distance between them, hiding his face in the hollow between her neck and shoulder, sobs wracking his body.


	13. Chapter 13

The surgeries keep happening. A fix here, a redo here. There was a lot of damage done to your body by the barrage of bullets. It’s a nightmare for Thor.

He paces the gallery, unable to watch but unwilling to not be as near to you as he can. Slowly but steadily, they can take machines away. They keep you under but they get you off the ventilator. 

Thor will swear to sam in private that that day took years off his life. There was nothing they could do if you didn’t breathe on your own. You were just going to die. To fade away moment by moment. Tony had hidden that day. He ran away to the lab and tried to bury himself in work but he had FRIDAY keep tabs. The minute your heart stopped he was going to know. And he listened for that more than he worked. 

Today, they were working on something Thor didn’t understand. Doing something to your spine so that when they woke you up, you would be able to go straight into therapy instead of being in a wheelchair. Natasha and Sam stood on either side of him, waiting. It was hour 4 and they still weren’t close to done. Thor had almost forgotten what color your eyes were. And for the first time since he was a boy, he prayed every night before he went to sleep. He missed you and he had so much to tell you. It wasn’t the same talking to you while you were awake and smiling at him. 

Natasha held his hand and Sam’s. Trying to offer what comfort she could. She felt culpable for this. She hadn’t had her phone when it rang. When you’d sent an SOS hiding in a closet with your clients trying to buy time. So far, she’d managed to keep the security tapes hidden from the boys. Your hands up. The look of compassion and panic on your face. The scream as bullets ripped through your body as the shooter realized that you had gotten almost everyone else out. That he had no more bargaining chips to get what he wanted. You laying, gasping, bleeding out of the floor in a pool of your own blood. She watched that tape over and over again. Until Stark had taken it away. 

She knew Tony watched it. That he tortured himself with it. He knew. He knew that if you had known to call him he would have been there. That you would be safe. Now all he could do was trust science to guide you through. And provision for you so that if you never wanted to work again you didn’t have to. You could be comfortable and safe, spending your whole life doing whatever you want. 

“I’ve got to get out of here,” Thor said paling as he glanced at your exposed spine for the first time. He was going to be sick if he didn’t get out. He stood and half ran out of the room. He didn’t know where he was going until he wound up in Tony’s lab. He was careful not to touch much of anything but he sat and helped himself to water and a snack. Tony looked up from what he was soldering and mildly alarmed, “is Y/N okay?” he asked sharply. Thor nodded, “I just… I looked down. I shouldn’t have looked down.” Tony winced in sympathy. 

“So,” he said, trying to distract himself as well as the giant blonde, “Do you have any plans for the future?” he asked. Thor’s face softened a little and he swallowed hard, “Whatever she wants, anything she asks of me… as long as I can have her back.” He took a deep breath blinking back tears. He hated this. He missed you. He wanted to hold you so badly he ached. Tony realized, possibly for the first time, in that moment, that you were an adult woman. You had an adult relationship. One that had a future. Tony nodded, “If it helps, this isn’t exactly easy for me either.” He needed to tell Thor. He didn’t even know why. But he needed to. Thor gave him a questioning look and Tony sighed, “Y/N is my daughter,” he said, spitting it out quickly like ripping off a bandage.

Thor stopped, water bottle halfway to his mouth. “How?” he asked. There’s no judgment. The man is 1500 years old. He’s seen a lot of things. He just wants to understand. Tony wants to crack about Thor not understanding where babies come from. But, given that Thor has been having sex with you of all people, he really doesn’t want to get into that. “In my younger days, I fell in love with her mother. And Clay happened. I promised to come back. I swore that I wouldn’t forget. And I didn’t I gave Cheri money. A lot of money. And she used it to set herself up. Go to nursing school,” he paused and smiled a little, “She would have been a wonderful wife if I hadn’t fucked around… But. Once, I came back to see her. To meet my son. And he was at summer camp. I spent that whole two weeks with Cheri and god… I made so many promises. I swore I’d take care of them. And then again… I didn’t. Y/N came out of all that. The next time I came to see Cheri, Y/N was a year old. Cheri ordered me out of her fucking house and told me to never come back. So I didn’t but… I stayed close. There was always a school grant. There was a scholarship. An internship. An opportuintiy somewhere for them to get where they wanted… God. They’re fucking brilliant kids.”

Thor nodded, “Y/N is a wonder… I’ve only ever seen her work over the phone but… She’s slick. She can talk people into things.”

Tony nodded, “Then Cheri died. And then Clay. It… I couldn’t do anything. I had to watch from a distance as Y/N literally dove off the deep end and buried herself in work and drugs until it damn near killed her… And now she’s downstairs. When they brought her in, I thought… I thought she was going to die without ever knowing that I loved her.”

There’s silence after that. Thor digesting what he was told and Tony trying not to drown in the feelings. Somehow it was a comfort that Thor knew. That when it was time for you to know, he’d not be just as shocked.


	14. Chapter 14

It takes a long time for you to open your eyes but when you do, Thor is waiting. “Sweetheart,” he says softly, petting your hand, “can you hear me?” You groan and try to start ripping out IV’s and wires. It hurts. It all hurts and you just want it to stop. Now. 

Medical staff rush forward and hold your hands down, adjusting your pain medications and Thor feels his heart pound as you settle down. You’re reaching for him. Sam is gone on a mission but he knows they’re waking you up today. 

The god takes your hand and smiles at your faithful hound who’s wiggling under your other hand to have his ears scratched. 

“Thor?” you ask softly, turning to look at him. He leans down and kisses your head, “Yes, love?” he asks. “Why can’t I feel my legs?” he can hear the panic rising in your voice and your heart monitor is speeding up as you take an assessment of your predicament, remembering what happened. He shushes you gently and kisses your head again, “It’ll be okay, darling. It’s only temporary. Your spine is still healing. Dr. Cho is regenerating the tissue that was damaged.” You quiet and swallow hard, “I’m so tired… How long was I asleep?” He smiles a little and adjusts your pillows and blankets, “Two weeks, two very long weeks.”

He tucks you in and smiles softly, “I’m glad you’re back, Y/N, I missed you.”

You’re already half-asleep when you squeeze his hand.

Recovery is slow. Thor and Sam move you to a room in the tower so you aren’t alone and you aren’t living in a 5th-floor walk-up while you re-learn how to walk and take care of yourself. Thor wanted to move you into his room but when you point out that his room doesn’t have room for your books, he relents. Near him is enough for now, he reasons. Especially when he can sleep in your room and be there to help you look after yourself as you transition from a wheelchair to a walker. 

It takes a toll on you mentally and emotionally and they can all see it. You’re quiet and withdrawn. Thor and Sam can’t even coax much more than a tired smile out of you. Your self worth has been tied up in work for so long that without it, you aren’t sure who you are. The impulse to use drugs and bury your feelings in uppers and alcohol intensifies. So much so that you throw out your pain pills. Suffering in silence instead of risking heading down that road again. 

If Thor notices, he doesn’t say but he’s quick about bringing you ice for your back or helping you to your feet when you’ve started to get tired towards the end of the day. He helps you take baths and keeps things as chaste as he can, knowing that you physically can’t act on your desires right now. He can take care of himself but you can’t. Your spine still needs intense babying and Thor isn’t sure he can protect you properly while being intimate with you. 

Currently, as you sit on a chair that Sam dragged down to the training room for you to sit in, in between bouts of physio and watching them train, you’re in hell. Today the pain is burning and numb at the same time. This is a bad day and you want to be unconscious again. Nicotine gum and grit just aren’t cutting it. 

Sam’s been helping you during Physio because Thor can’t stand watching you struggle. Today is worse than usual and when you start to cry, too frustrated and trying not to scream as your body tried to make connections between your brain and your muscles. Sam and your therapist both stop and Sam wraps you into a hug, “I think we’ll cut it short today, baby girl.” You cry against his shoulder and tangle your hands in his shirt.

He’d settled you in your chair and gotten you a pain med that you hadn’t taken. You’d cheeked it and spit it out. But now as you waited for Thor to finish up, you just wanted to curl up and you couldn’t. Sam trotted over to Thor and gestured towards you. You needed ice. And a hot bath. That was Thor’s department. Sam had no desire to see you undressed that way. The god rolled out of the way of Clint’s grapple and trotted to your side, dropping his hammer. “What’s wrong sweetheart?” he asked. 

“I’m fine,” you say smiling, despite the red eyes and tear tracks. He frowns and scoops you up carefully. Rough physio, he decided. That needed pampering and you needed rest. A lot of rest and something to eat. He knew you hadn’t been eating and you needed to. You’d lost weight and you were too light in his arms. Pain, he supposed, was a struggle for you. You didn’t enjoy much of anything right now and even music was a chore. It scared him. You needed music like you needed air. “You’ll be fine,” he corrected gently. “Did you take your medications?” he asked. He notices when you don’t look at him, “Sam gave me a pill,” you say. 

“That isn’t what I asked,” he said firmly as he set you down on the bathroom counter. You swallow hard and grit your teeth as your spine screams. He can hear it and he reaches up to the medicine cabinet to find your medication just gone. “Y/N? Where did your pain medications go?” he asked softly. 

“I threw them out,” you say waiting for him to shout at you. 

Thor tilted your chin up and kissed your forehead, saying a quiet prayer for patience. “How long ago?” he asked quietly. You silly, beautiful, stubborn girl, he thought. “The third day out of medical,” you say. Thor’s heart clenches and he hugs you carefully. It’s no wonder you’re miserable and depressed. You’re suffering. In silence. He kisses your head and picks up his phone, “You need your medication, sweetheart. You can’t heal if you’re suffering.” The look on your face tells him everything he needs to know about why. You’re afraid.

“Sam and I won’t let you get addicted to them,” he soothes, “I’ll lock them up where you can’t get them without help. But you’re not going to just suffer anymore. You can’t heal without rest and you can’t rest when you’re in pain.”

He starts your bath and calls medical. He doesn’t tell them you threw your medication out. He tells them he dropped them and requests more. “When they get here,” he says, “you WILL take one. And then we’ll get a long nap before dinner.” The god undresses you gently and helps you into the water, gratified when you sigh in relief. The hot water helps quite a lot. He goes to answer the door and comes back with cherry coke and a pill. He stands over you as you take it and then kneels beside the tub where he could help you more easily, humming softly as he smoothes his hands over your skin.


End file.
